Firsts 22


Yesterday I received my first negative comment on this site. Someone felt the need to tell me off for something I had written. I have not published the comment (as is my right to do so) and I have deleted the post it was about. I don’t know who the person was or if they even know me or anything about me. I have a vague feeling that this person does know me, doesn’t like me and felt the need to chastise me to make themselves feel better. I am someone who probably shouldn’t blog when it comes right down to it because I have far too tender a heart for criticism or negativity.

The sad thing about this is that I never intend to upset or drive anyone to comment negatively. I would rather crawl into a hole and never blog again than upset anyone whether I know them or not. I started Embrace Happy to help others find the joy in everyday life; to appreciate the little things in life and to realise that not every day is good but there is good in every day. I deleted over 400 posts from my other blog, Cafe Bebe, because they were filled with negativity and I don’t wish them to be a living legacy of my existence.

Since early February I have been living in a bit of a grey cloud. My freelance job evaporated and I have yet to be paid for the work I did for them. That much needed chunk of income will probably never come thanks to the company simply deciding to write off the back salaries owed to their employees and contractors. I am still struggling with feelings of anger, disappointment and frustration over this situation which makes me even more frustrated. I can’t seem to let it go. Probably because I haven’t had a resolution and I don’t feel that I can shut the door on it. Injustice really pisses me off!

I have been struggling with Embrace Happy as well. Not the idea or the sentiment but the site itself. I have been hacked mercilously and felt that I haven’t been able to write posts as I don’t want people to visit my site in its hacked state. I believe FINALLY these issues have been resolved but it has caused me to question blogging and what platforms I use and whether it’s just better to start all over again. In getting out of the writing habit, I have struggled to sit back down at the slowly churning laptop and force myself to write. Over the last two weeks of the Easter Holiday I have only sat down at my workspace twice. Writing and working has become something I can push into the corner, literally, until normal life resumes. I’m not sure if this is a bad thing.

And so, I turn to anyone reading this and ask you to tell me…Why do you visit Embrace Happy? What do you find the most helpful? I have some ideas and plans that are spinning around in my brain and are slowly making their way into my Focus Journal. Embrace Happy has now been running for just over a year. I somehow missed my Embrace Happy Birthday which fell at the end of March during our Easter Break. One year of Embrace Happy and finally yesterday, a FIRST. A negative comment. It’s got me reeling, thinking and wondering…tell me what you think…

EmbraceHeart


About Karin

Karin Joyce is a 40-something wife & mother who is helping to spread happiness one smile at a time. Karin is also a blogger and social media addict whom you may also know as Cafe Bebe. American by birth, UK permanent resident by marriage, Karin loves The Mentalist (specifically Simon Baker), her smartphone and lie-ins on Saturday mornings.


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22 thoughts on “Firsts

  • snowingindoors

    Sorry that you’ve had such a rough time, not getting paid for your work is a horrible thing and I would feel angry and cheated were I in your shoes.

    I visit Embrace Happy because I love the way you write and reading what you’ve been up to. Reading your blog helps me to notice for the happy moment and prompts me to look on the bright side.

    Even if you don’t feel like it right now, you’re an inspiration for so many people, me included, and I can’t wait to see you again soon and give you a big hug xxx

    • Karin Post author

      Em,
      Thank you so much. That’s really lovely and helpful! You are on my list for a hug at BritMums Live (hoping you’re going!).
      Have a wonderful Sunday lovely. xx
      Karin

  • jfb57

    I’m so sorry about the comment but in a way it is a mark of your standing in this blogging world. You did prompt them to engage! I visit Embrace Happy because it is now part of my daily routine. The sharing with you & others has given me a daily focus that I need, the discipline I have always lacked. I have just written a long FB message to a girlfriend about the site & urged her to join because she needs it at the moment.
    I think the site has great potential for doing even more than providing a space to share. I do hope you get your mojo back Karin. You are much loved and are so much more than a tagline but what a powerful tagline it is.
    If there is ANYTHING I can do to support you, the site #embracehappy, just shout. Distance is no barrier!

    Julia xx

    • Karin Post author

      Julia,
      You have always been such a big support and that is MUCH appreciated. Thank you my lovely. I’ll find my way through.
      Karin xx

  • Rachael

    This makes me so sad Karin. I really can’t understand why anyone would comment negatively about you or thus site, it’s baffling to me. I understand that it may not be everyone’s “thing”, but why that should leaf to attacking you and such negativity I don’t know.

    Such bad luck about the hacking too, I can imagine it’s been beyond frustrating for you and I bet it does make you just want to throw in the towel at times.

    But, please don’t. I truly believe that this site makes a difference to people and it would be a sad thing to see into go. I visit because I enjoy your writing and your pictures – your positivity and optimism always makes me smile.

    Don’t give up, you’re doing great.

    xxx

    • Karin Post author

      Rachael,
      Thank you so much for your constant support and participation in the Facebook group and on social media. I really do appreciate it!
      Karin xx

  • Lesley

    Obviously we haven’t seen the negative comment but in many ways I’m surprised it has taken a year. It is all too easy to see, and dismiss, Embrace Happy as ‘mindless fluff’ or ‘lightweight’ until you actually start doing it and realise that some days it is so very very hard. Much more of a challenge than moaning and complaining which, culturally, is what we do when things aren’t going right. Maybe the person felt too challenged by what Embrace Happy represents.

    Hang in there Karin. #HappyBirthdayEmbraceHappy 😀

    • Karin Post author

      Lesley,
      Thank you for that advice and comment on the importance of Embrace Happy. I really appreciate your support!
      Karin xx

  • Menai Newbould (@MenaiN)

    I am so sorry that the anniversary of something so marvellous, helpful and thoroughly positive was a negative! I love visiting, love reading about your 3 good things, about your journey and family life, about your beliefs and help that you are being. I think some people leave negative comments to make themselves feel better, some people don’t realise the cutting words are hurtful, and a few don’t even intend them that way but are careless. I am pleased that some people like Mary Beard who have confronted their trolls have turned things around. I feel as sensitively about preferring not to put myself out there and I send heartfelt sympathies! xxx

  • Mummy Matters

    Don’t let the negativity get you down, EmbraceHappy has been such a good thing for you. Perhaps you just need to step back for a couple weeks, focus on your FB group and why you start EH, live a little and focus on what you really want then come back to it with a fresh mind at the beginning of May?!?! Always here

  • Michelle

    Julia said it all so well.
    Love your sote and so did I love Cafe Bebe. Please keep posting whatever you want to. Don’t let anyone bully you to take it off. Publish the comment. Thank them for taking part and it makes you happy that you were able to touch them so they felt they wanted to share their feelings.
    Xx

  • Heidi Lilley

    Karin, I’m really sorry that you had to endure such negativity on such a positivity site. That is pure junk. You’ve had a rough few months and for that as well i am sorry.
    That is why I come here, to see your journey, your beautiful journey. Your children, your happiness, your struggles, all of it. I go to #embracehappy on facebook to read what brings others happiness and see what I can do to add happiness to my life. I go to share my happy moments, and to remember each day that not every day is good, but there is good in every day.
    Please do not scruff this blog, there may be a few that do not want happiness in their lives, but there are many who need this, and you to remind us what happiness is. If ever you need a hand, reach out, there are many of us willing to help.
    Hugs and Happiness.

    • Karin Post author

      Heidi,
      Thank you. Your words are lovely and it means so much to know that I have helped a bit. I just need a bit of a rethink and will sort my way through. I really appreciate your support and participation in the Embrace Happy Facebook group. You are a star!
      Karin xx

  • sarah

    Thank you for starting and for sharing Embrace Happy. I initially looked at the site and thought oh that’s great, it’s a place to share some thoughts and maybe get some encouragement and supportive words. It is all that and so much more. There are so many days when we are overwhelmed by stuff, nonsense and negativity. It’s life. It happens. It is so easy to get lost in all that negativity and just live from day to day without really living. Your blog contains inspiring words, motivation to make life better, to find the positive and happy and make that they are the most important things going on as they should be! Your Facebook group gives us all a chance to share our problems but more importantly challenges us to really start enjoying life and finding the positive way forward. Negativity happens and surrounds us and there will always be people who cannot embrace happy – they are too overwhelmed or lack understanding or are just jealous of your ability to put aside the bad for the good. Hang on in there and know that if they’re shooting at you, you must be doing something right.

    • Karin Post author

      Sarah,
      What kind and heart-felt words. Thank you so very much for your ongoing support of this blog and the Embrace Happy Facebook group. You are so kind.
      Karin xx

  • mumreinvented

    Karin you’ve been blogging for years, you know what people are like, they hide behind their computers and enjoy making peoples lives a misery and it always seems to come at a time when we are feeling particularly vulnerable. It’s like school bullies, they just need to grow up and get a life! Don’t let whatever it was that was said get you down. Embrace Happy is an amazing idea and a great site. Just looking at it cheers me up! Don’t let other people’s negativity cloud your happiness x

  • downssideup

    I know you have had a tough time and i am so very sorry. I do think someone who goes out of their way to make such a comment only does it out of jealousy and a need to put you down. I receive comments weekly that range from bitter to vicious and then illegal. After each I curl up and withdraw, like you far too sensitive to be on this new blog circuit. But then of course we toughen, see the benefit in what we are doing… and on we go. Please keep going Karin. I watch Embrace happy from afar, mostly via Instagram and it always brings a smile to my face, and reminds me to look for those little yet vital happinesses in each day. H x

  • iotamanhattan

    Hi Karin. You might remember me from old blogging days. I came here following a trail… Read something you wrote recently on BritMums, went to Cafe Bebe, read the page with all your history, and why you’d finished with Cafe Bebe, and came here. I really like this idea. Such a simple one, but yes, we can all change our attitudes to life. For a lot of us, this comes after a big life shake-up, or seeing a therapist. For you, it was after reading one article. That’s pretty impresssive!

    I’m quite surprised you’ve only had one negative comment, to be honest. Seems like this is a perennial blogging problem. Just keep on ploughing your own furrow. You’re never going to please everyone all of the time, and yes, there are people out there who like to speak their mind, even if they know it’s not going to help.

    Glad I’ve found your new blog!