Two and a half weeks ago we started Ella’s 4th year at Primary School- Year 3! Ella has transitioned really well into the flow of school again which makes me so happy. Her first half-term in Year 1 was really stressful so I am really pleased that she has settled in to new teachers, new classroom and a new routine really smoothly. Sam has started his 2nd full year of preschool and has surprised me by really rising to the occasion. I thought he would struggle without his sister, who had been his constant companion during the 7-week Summer holiday, but he suddenly now seems to be one of the Big Boys. He’s fallen right back into step with his best mate at preschool and they seem to be pretty happy to be back. What a weight off my mind!
As we started back to school, I also started a new way of eating. I am loathe to call it a diet as that is such a loaded word and one that I don’t want Ella knowing or even thinking about. I’m eating “clean” which is similar to the Paleo-ish lifestyle that I adopted last year but really watching the carbs by pretty much only eating veg and berries for my carb sources. The first 4 days were terrifically hard and rather painful. I went caffeine-free because my one or two cups of English Breakfast Tea in the mornings had a splash of milk and a heaped teaspoon of Demererra sugar in and those were not permitted on the Clean Eating plan. I felt tired, grumpy and had a persistent headache for those 3 1/2 days. On the 4th morning, as I was heading down to London for a 2-day video production training, the headache thankfully lifted and I started to feel that AWESOME feeling that I had been promised. I felt energetic and happy! That may also have been because I was spending two days in London learning fun video production tricks AND seeing my Dad for the first time in 18+ months.
Week two of my clean eating plan was also our one week with my Dad and Stepmom who were staying with us during their UK visit. We were trying to pack in 18 months of missed family time into 6 days which was wonderful but there wasn’t enough time to do everything we wanted. That week also started off with Mark knocking out his front tooth while clearing some tree branches for our Summer House project which he and my Dad were working on. We had a mad dash to the Dental emergency centre in Peterborough and thankfully they were able to push his front tooth back into place (sounds gross, is gross). We see our local dentist in 2 weeks to see what the long term prognosis is for that! In the meantime, we caught up on lots of chatter, built a Summer House and had lots of laughs.
This week has been a low one. My family has gone now, the children are settling into school, my energy levels are exceptionally low, my knees are giving me a lot of pain and there’s still a fair way to go on the Summer House. I’m feeling very lonely at the moment which means that I am struggling. But, I have two amazing children, one wonderful husband, a job that pays me and motivates me to do more and a family who love me. Life is good. But life can be challenging at times and right now, I’m in a rut.
Blogging has become a chore and something that I want to do less and less. I believe all the signs point to me stopping blogging altogether. I don’t have the energy to keep up with the plethora of new bloggers who are all working really hard and generally being acknowledged for their efforts either through attention or income. I feel like I’m looking down from way above, at a dome filled with bloggers galore and while I still have a vague interest in floating down to land inside that dome, I am more and more distracted by the clouds and birds and stars and sky in the space above the dome. I think it’s time for me to explore that space.
I’m not closing the door entirely on the idea of blogging and most certainly am not closing the door on Embrace Happy. I will continue to run my (closed) Facebook group, Embrace Happy Facebook page and may even resurrect a few old Embrace Happy ideas to keep my creative juices flowing. For now, however, as with Cafe Bebe, the time has come to draw the curtain and see what comes after. I’m sure no one will notice one less blogger in the UK Blogging landscape and who knows, I may just find a new passion after 6+ years of blogging. There are a lot of things I will miss but an awful lot that I won’t as well.
In the meantime, be kind to each other, respect yourself, spend quality time with your children and partners, embrace happy and realise fully that although not every day is good, there is good in every day. Now go out and find it. #embracehappy